


I'm Your Asshole

by Justybean



Series: The Great Return [2]
Category: The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Set After Defenders, Slight spoilers, Tooth Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 13:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12343272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justybean/pseuds/Justybean
Summary: There was a lot that had changed between him and Jess, and then there was a hell of a lot that was exactly the same.





	I'm Your Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> So I hadn't planned on Asshole being anything more than a one shot, but people seemed to want more so I figured I could make it happen. It gave me a chance to write happy things for them, which I enjoy.
> 
> This will probably be the last for this story though. I've got plans for a new one.
> 
> Still working without a beta, so any errors are my own and I apologize. Constructive Criticism is always welcome!

There was a lot that had changed between him and Jess, and then there was a hell of a lot that was exactly the same.

 

Matthew really wasn’t one to be overly cheesy but the last few weeks since he and Jessica had become…..whatever it was they were...had been the best weeks in a very long time for him. Which was not to say they were absolutely perfect - far from it - but they were  _ good. _

 

They hadn’t defined what this was between them, and he had a feeling Jessica preferred it that way for now at least. He didn’t mind so much considering he was far to old to be anyone’s ‘boyfriend’ anyways. He wouldn’t ever want to push for something that would make her uncomfortable, so continuing along as they were was just fine for him.

 

He would admit though, it would be nice to have something to say when people asked what was going on. “Oh yeah, she sleeps in my bed sometimes and exclusively calls me an asshole.” It worked with their immediate circle, but sounded a bit weird to anyone else.

 

\--

 

Their friends had found out there was at least  _ something _ between them pretty darn quick. Knowing him far too well to believe for a second he’d contact Claire for help in a reasonable amount of time, Jessica had texted Claire while he had been dozing in her lap that first night. 

 

He protested saying he would have done it himself, but the scoff she gave him in response told him she wasn’t buying it for a second.

 

Matthew had assumed she’d be up and out from under him well before Claire arrived, but she seemed content just where she was. There was also probably a bit of concern about constantly jostling a stabbing victim. Claire had left herself in - he had given her a key for exactly this reason - and had stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of them.

 

She was shocked to say the least, he could hear her trying to form words from where she stood. Jessica had stiffened under him, the hand that had been simply resting on his chest was now balled into a fist. He reached up to gently pat at her wrist, which loosened some of the tension from her body. Still, she slowly adjusted him a bit so she could slide out from underneath without shifting his lower torso too much. Once free she laid him flat on the sofa again.

 

The couch was still warm where she had been sitting, but he felt so much colder now.

 

The silence between the three of them was getting a little more than awkward, making this weird situation so much worse. He could hear Jessica’s heavy boots toeing into his floor - if she wasn’t careful she could kick right through it. Clare’s heartbeat was slowly returning to normal and he could feel her ‘you’ve got some explaining to do’ look take residence on her face.

 

“I’m uh….in need of a few stitches.” He finally said, breaking the silence. That seemed to break her trance. Medical needs always came first. Clare crossed the room, coming to stand at his side. 

 

“What have you done now?” She questioned, looking him over despite the full armour he still wore. If he wasn’t showing blood through the thick suit, he was doing pretty well. For him at least.

 

“Walked into a knife like an idiot.” Jessica answered before he could. He figured she would be keeping pretty quiet through this whole thing considering how uncomfortable she had been at Claire’s staring, but clearly he should have more faith in how much she needed to make sarcastic comments. They both knew it was going to get him in trouble with Clare too, which was probably attractive to her as well.

 

Claire sucked in a sharp breath and he could sense her body temperature rise. “You did what?” She snapped, never afraid to yell at one of her ‘special’ patients when they were being idiots.

 

Which clearly had been Jessica’s play. Get Claire all worked up about the circumstances around Matthew’s stab would so she wouldn’t ask about what she had just walked in on. Smart. Matthew smirked to himself, which only served to make Claire angrier when she assumed that it was directed towards her. 

 

“I didn’t walk into it. I just...got in the way of it’s intended target. It’s fine, really. It’s not even that deep.” He could hear Jessica scoffing as she wandered off to his kitchen. She knew well enough where he kept the drinks that were there just for her. He heard her shuffle a couple around before taking one of her half finished Whiskeys. 

 

“Being around you hero types is going to age the hell out of me.” Claire said with a sigh, bringing her hand up to rub at her forehead. And yet, they both knew she wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. Especially not with Luke Cage in the picture. She waved towards the top half of his suit. “Let’s go. Get this off and lets get this thing done. I had plans tonight that didn’t include stitching up The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, just so you know.”

 

She looked at him and then Jessica over in the kitchen for a good few moments, letting them know that she considered her night not just interrupted by him - but by both of them.

 

Matt let out a long breath of air in preparation for what was about to come. Slowly he pushed himself up into a more seated position, being careful not to pull at his side too hard. There wasn’t he could do much to make removing the top better, so he just had to get it done. Clare helped him a bit as he maneuvered without hurting himself too much. Finally he sat shirtless on his sofa, the wound bleeding again.

 

He shifted and laid back down on his good side with the wound facing up, giving Claire the easiest access.

 

Jessica’s pulse took a rapid climb and he could feel her staring at him. Or more accurately, at his very recently bared chest. There was no mistaking what was running through her. That was attraction. Jessica like what he looked like without his shirt on. (Although probably not as much as she could if he didn’t also have a stab wound.)

 

He didn’t mind the scrutiny. He took care of his body and other than the bruises it gave him, his nights as Daredevil helped him keep it in good shape. He could feel the definition on his stomach and arms, but he couldn’t actually see it, or anyone else's to compare. Foggy insisted all the time that Matt “Had to know he was attracted.” and that he “Knew what he did to women.” Matthew knew what people said he did to women and knew that people said he was attractive, but he didn’t have any reference truly for himself.

 

Matthew couldn’t help the shit eating grin that spread across his face, which he turned and pointed her her direction. She knew that he could tell, and the reminder earned him a huff and a head shake. A little bit of irritation mixed with the attraction she was feeling, but not enough to completely hide the desire she still felt.

 

The sudden stinging at his side made Matthew hiss, and drew his attention back to what was actually important right now. Claire was starting work, and had pressed a little bit harder than probably necessary to get his focus back. Now that he was done ticking Jessica off and actually paying attention, her touch lightened.

 

Claire used the same kit Matthew had used on Jessica just a few days ago - the one she kept stocked up for situations exactly like this. Her work was precise and gentle. He required a total of three stitches, which was a low number for him. After cleaning the area and making sure there was no signs of infection, she set to work closing him up.

 

Jessica was very pointedly looking away now that Clare was stitching his wound closed. She didn’t have any sort of aversion to blood, but perhaps needles going through flesh was a bit too much for her.

 

“So. That looked comfortable.” Clare said, breaking the silence as she worked. It was a very pointed comment, one that gave him no room to misunderstand. Matthew would have laughed, but decided against it with an actual needle going through his side right now.

 

“It was.” He replied, another grin stretching across his face. Jessica was ignoring them both, having wandered over to the window to drink as she looked out over the city.

 

“Is this a regular sort of thing?” Matthew could hear the underlying question that Claire was actually asking. This was one of her talents, digging without actually saying the real questions.

 

“Getting stabbed? I think you know the answer to that.” Matthew was sure if Claire had been done her work she would have hit him. As it were, she was still stitching and he was in the clear. He could feel her irritation at him rising though. “No. It’s...new.” He gave a half sort of shrug, not wanting to shift his body with the full movement.

 

There was no massive change from Jessica, so she had to be okay with that explanation. Claire was smart, directing the questions towards him. They both knew Jessica wasn’t forthcoming with answers when she didn’t want to be questioned. The fact that it was about something emotional would only make it worse.

 

Claire hummed and tugged the needle through for the last time. She tied it off and snipped off the rest of the thread. “Well, how about we leave the stabbing out of whatever is happening next time? That’s a pretty desperate come on, if you ask me.” Jessica laughed from her spot at the window and some of the tension in the room broke. Matthew gave their resident doctor a sheepish nod, not really promising anything.

 

It didn’t take long for her to clear up the bit of mess from her work and get the kit put back in it’s spot. Matthew pushed himself back up to a sitting position as she cleaned and Jessica came back to sit in the chair by his sofa. Claire warned him to not to anything too stupid for the next couple of days until he was fully healed. 

 

“And yes, that includes jumping around in a red devil suit.” She tacked on before he could even ask.

 

And with that final warning, she was out the door to return to her own evening. Matthew ran his fingers over her work, feeling how clean and perfect it was. It really was a shame she spent all of her time patching up a team of super people. She could do such amazing work for so many people.

 

“So…..You know Luke’s gonna know now too.” Claire was guaranteed to tell him what she had seen as soon as she met up with him. He knew this discussion would make her uneasy, but it was one they had to have right now. “Which means Danny and Colleen will find out pretty quickly as well.”

 

“Yeah.” Her tone was devoid of any real emotion, but he could hear her fluctuating heartbeat. 

 

“Is that...okay?” It wasn’t the most eloquent way of asking, but it was all he could seem to manage right now.

 

It took Jessica a long time to respond and Matthew felt like he was on the edge of his seat the entire time. So much hung on her answer. 

 

“Whatever.” She shrugged, finally answering. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing at all and at least it was in a sort of positive direction. There was no lie in her words - but he could sense the anxiety deep down probably both about everyone discussing them and just from their situation in general.

 

Still, she hadn’t said no.

 

Matthew nodded, a genuine smile stretching across his face. “Okay. Good.” 

 

She had finished her Whiskey a while ago, and this type of conversation without a little help was probably making her a bit antsy. He could feel her shifting around just by tiny bits in her seat, and her heartbeat hadn’t calmed all the way back to normal. 

 

Without warning she shot up from her chair, hands clenced at her side. “I have go to.” She announced, grabbing her scarf that had been discarded over the back of the sofa at one point.

 

Matt felt a little shell-shocked. He hadn’t expected her to want to take off this quickly. “You can stay if you want to, you know.” He offered, making sure she knew that he wasn’t about to kick her out now that he was patched up. 

 

She shook her head and repeated it again. “I have to go.” He would have been extremely worried if not for the fact that she had brushed her fingers over his shoulders before stomping out. It was incredibly hard to be concerned when all he could think about was the trail of fire left on his skin, just from the lightest reassuring touch.

 

It was all he could think about as he slowly made his way to his bed, gently collapsing onto his goodside. He could still smell her in his own hair from where he had been laying on her lap, which soothed him into sleep along with the remnants of her touch.

 

And there was no room for him to worry the next day. She showed up at his place early - well, early for them. Matt only got out of bed before 11 if he had a case - and showed no signs of being upset. He was in only a pair of pajama bottoms, which she definitely took notice of.

 

“Breakfast.” She grunted, shoving a box of muffins at him. The same exact muffins he had brought for her so many times. And for the rest of the morning she sat on the floor right by his legs, typing away on her laptop as he went through some files. 

 

It was good.

 

\--

 

Things continued on pretty much how they had before. He’d still visit her in her office slash home and she’d come and see him in what was now also his office slash home. He’d bring breakfast most mornings and spend a decent amount of time convincing her to eat it. She’d pretend she wasn’t going to before finally giving in to him.

 

Everything seemed to be exactly what it had been - from the outside. Matt knew different. He now got to feel when she’d brush her fingers up his arm for no reason. He got to experience running his fingers through the silky strands of her hair. It was something he had wanted to do for quite some time, and to get to was thrilling. It was just as nice as he imagined. Jessica Jones kept a hard exterior - and interior most times - but her hair was softer than anything. Matthew was pretty sure his hand was never going to stop smelling like her shampoo.

 

Once while sitting together on his sofa, her watching TV (which he now had, just for her) and him pretending to work, she had reached out and grabbed his hand. There they sat, hand in hand for seemingly no reason at all except she wanted to. He was so shocked it had taken him a while to settle down and relax himself back into the sofa. Now he really, really wasn’t going to be working. 

 

He had taken that as permission to initiate more contact on his own, which was going well. Nothing to majour. He didn’t need to latch on to her and never let go. They weren’t teenagers, after all. There was no one to prove themselves to. But he did get closer than before when she was digging around in his kitchen and he felt like coming up behind her. And he did grab her hand every chance he got. She’d huff at him sometimes, but it was in good nature and she’d never actually pull away from him.

 

They were small tiny steps, but they were taking them together and the fact that they were happening at all was more than enough for him.

 

She’d even taken the first time seeing the team since Claire’s visit, and subsequently the team’s knowledge about them, quite well. He’s pretty sure she only came along to the meeting Danny had called for because he was going. She’d stuck hard to not working in a team again and no amount of persuasion from The Iron Fist was going to convince her. Still, the man could try.

 

Once again, he was so thankful for everything they were. He had almost given all this up, like an idiot, as she would call him.

 

Luke Cake had been radiating smugness as soon as they had walked into Rand, and he was sure he wouldn’t like the look the man was giving the pair of him. From Jessica’s grumbling it was clear she didn’t like it either. 

 

“Just don’t let her near any guns, man.” He had warned, earning him a smack from Claire and another one from Jessica. Her’s might have done more physical damage, but he was sure there was going to be more fallout from Claire’s. Matthew briefly recalled the comment when they had all first met;

 

_ “We met. We Drank. I shot him in the head.” _

 

He had laughed, thinking the statement ridiculous. And he still did. Apparently there was more to it than her just trying to be funny.

 

There was a full story there - one he was going to ask for later.

 

Danny was a whole different ballpark. A very excited, pretty much exactly like a child, ballpark. He had been over the moon for them. It was a bit much to say the least, but it was nice to have the unyielding support. At one point he had hugged Matt, and then moved on to do the same with Jessica, who had promptly shut him down by sidestepping away, half covering herself with Matt’s body. It was a much better reaction than her decking him, which was what Matt had been expecting.

 

Danny got the hint pretty quickly and backed of before she really did hit him. Free from the threat of a hug, Jessica reemerged again, standing slightly closer to his side than she had been before.

 

“Feels like The Defenders is some sort of dating service.” She commented, arms crossed over her chest. “Join the team, get a boyfriend. Think we could get that trademarked?” She gave a pointed look to the other couples.

 

The group laughed, but all Matthew could think about was that she had just used the word boyfriend. She had used it as a group term, but he was included in that.

 

“So. I’m your boyfriend?” He questioned, definitely pushing his luck. He gently elbowed her and the rest of the group snickered, but made no other comments. If someone was going to get punched they wanted to make sure it was Matt and not them.

 

“Shut up.” Was all she returned, but he could feel the happiness radiating from inside of her.

 

\--

 

The first time they kissed, the first time she stayed overnight, and the moment Foggy discovered they were together all happened within the span of twelve hours.

 

It had been about a week and a half since the stabbing incident and the start of all this, and he had already thought about kissing her at least a hundred times. There had been a lot for them already though, and he wasn’t quite sure the right way to go about doing it. He didn’t want to shove himself in her face and freak her out.

 

But just like the hand holding, she took charge of it before he could do anything himself.

 

It was on his sofa again, and god he was sure he wasn’t ever getting rid of this sofa now. It could be threadbare and filthy, and he was going to keep it right here. For once he wasn’t pretending to work, but just sitting and listening to the television. Jessica was cuddled right up to his side, head tucked into his shoulder with her eyes on his TV. 

 

The TV that was turning out to be the best investment he ever made.

 

He could feel something storming around inside of her. It didn’t seem bad, so he was content to wait it out until she was ready to talk about whatever it was. Turns out, it didn’t involve talking at all. Within a moment he had a lap full of Jessica Jones, her arms now wrapped around his neck.

 

“Hey.” She casually greeted, fingers curling into the hair at the back of his head. Matt chuckled and brought his hands up to rest on her hips.

 

“Hey. Bored of the TV?” All he got was a hum and a smirk in response. Jessica seemed completely comfortable above him like this, and his entire world zeroed in on her. The sounds from the television, the humming from his fridge, even the people on the street became complete background noise as he focused on her weight in his lap. Someone could scream and he probably wouldn’t even hear it. It was the quietest things had been for him in a very long time.

 

He recognized the control she was probably exercising right now. If she put too much pressure on him with her strength it could cause him a lot of damage. He’d say it was worth it, but still. She held herself so that he could feel just enough pressure from her but not enough to have it hurt in any way. Matthew’s fingers gently danced up her side and he smiled, so incredibly happy with the amount of care she took in some things.

 

So many people thought she didn’t care at all. Ever. He was privy to a little secret that she would loath to get out. Jessica Jones cared a lot beneath her gruff exterior. 

 

While deep in his thoughts of her, Jessica had come to some sort of resolute decision. “Close your eyes.” She instructed, and he laughed. 

 

“You know it doesn’t change what I see at all, right?” He asked. He could practically feel the eyeroll in response. 

 

“Yes. Just do it, asshole.” He waited another few moments with a smug look on his face before finally letting his eyelids fall closed. His abilities didn’t turn off just because he had his eyes closed, but he did try and focus on little things instead of the big picture to hopefully produce some of the same effect for her. Not that it truly mattered. She couldn’t tell what he was seeing either way. 

 

He could feel her bodyweight moving on his lap as he focused on individual strands of her hair. It was a slow movement forward. Much to his surprise it ended with her gently pressing her lips against his.

 

She pulled back as if checking to see if that had been okay, but Matt wasn’t having any of that. He gently but quite quickly slid a hand into her hair at the back of her head and pushed her back towards him, sealing their lips together. 

 

Matthew was pretty sure he could live without air from this point on if he got to keep kissing her.

 

She was enthusiastic to say the least and Matt was determined to keep up with her. He had never gotten much of a childhood, but he was sure this was what it felt like to be a young teenage boy, making out on Mom and Dad’s sofa. He pictured his father walking in on him and smirked into the kiss. 

 

“Something funny, Matthew?” Jessica practically purred, pulling back for a moment to look him in the eyes, despite the action being unnecessary. Old habits died hard and all.

 

His full name sounded like sin on her lips and he would pray to hear it over and over again.

 

“No. No. Just feel like a bit like a kid again.” He could tell she didn’t like hearing that after they had just finished kissing, so he quickly added to his response. “I just mean, I don’t think I’ve made out with anyone on the sofa since Law School.”

 

That earned him a chuckle which he thought was good, but then she was sliding off his lap. Matthew’s hands chased her, and he leaned forward in his seat after her. 

 

“Well, if it’s such a problem,” She took two steps backwards, her eyes never leaving him. “It doesn’t have to be on the sofa.” He frowned for a moment, confused by the direction she was trying to take this. Things became very clearly to him when she turned around, hips swaying as she crossed the room and entered his bedroom. 

 

He sat there for another few moments, just wanting to be totally sure that this was actually what was happening. The sound of boots hitting the ground minus feet and a jean zipper opening spurred him into action. He practically sprinted across the room, making up for that lost time.

 

“Think we can break your bed?” She asked when they were both naked and had finished the making out she had promised. He gave her a wolfish grin and set out to try.

 

And while they didn’t outright break it, there was a few cracks in the frame and she had torn his very expensive sheets to shreds.

 

They’d just have to try harder next time, wouldn’t they?

 

His night had been practically perfect, so it was only fair that something would go wrong in the morning. It had started out fine. Well, more than fine. He had woken up with Jessica laying on half his torso, her hair cascading around her face as she traced the various scars on his skin. They hadn’t discussed scars and where they had gotten them, but Matthew was sure it was a conversation that would come up sooner or later. 

 

“Morning.” He greeted, voice rough from all his groaning the night before. Jessica smelled like herself, but she also smelt like him and it was a combination he wanted to keep in her skin as much as possible. She was truly relaxed right now, and just happy. There was not a trace of stress or anxiety within her. He wanted that to be her emotional state more often.

 

“Morning.” She returned, her voice not sounding much better than his. She stretched herself out and he could hear joints popping followed but a satisfied sigh. “Breakfast?”

 

He assumed at first she was asking him to make it, but she slunk from the bed, feet lightly touching his hardwood floor. He already missed her warmth and was determined to follow her. 

 

She padded around for a moment and instead of picking up her own clothing she grabbed his forgotten button up from last night. On that went, coming down to her mid thigh. That settled it, there was no way he was staying in bed now. 

 

Matthew threw off the sheets and followed in her same steps, crowding her against the door frame separating his bedroom and the livingroom. “Breakfast could wait.” He offered, leaning in to kiss her neck. She gave no complaints, tilting her head to the side to grant him more access.

 

Had he been paying attention to more than just Jessica, he would have noticed Foggy earlier and avoided their following situation. As it was, he was not interested in paying attention to anything other than the way Jessica melted under him and the little gasps she was making.

 

Foggy Nelson - unknowing of what was inside - let himself into Matt’s apartment with the key that had been given to him, his arms full with a coffee tray and files for Matt’s next case. 

 

“Hey, Matt, I’ve got that information for…..” Foggy trailed off, having noticed the pair who were now both looking up at him, less than impressed.

 

Matt thanked god that Jessica was fully covered, though he could not say the same thing for himself. He hadn’t even bothered to put his boxers on as it had been his every intention to just get Jessica back into his bed.

 

There was complete silence for a few moments while they all just stared at each other, unbelieving of the ridiculous situation they now found themselves in.

 

As she usually did, Jessica broke the silence. “Wow. You really have to stop giving out keys to everyone.” She smirked against his skin before walking away, leaving him bare and alone as she went to the kitchen to resume her earlier task of making breakfast. She took one of the coffee cups from Foggy as she passed, saluting him with it. 

 

Now that he could see that Jessica wasn’t going to freak out about this, Matt disappeared into his room to pull on a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt before returning. Foggy had moved from his spot just out of the entrance hallway to sit on his sofa. 

 

“Hey, Foggy.” Matt finally greeted, only sounding slightly guilty. Foggy seemed to come alive at that. His friend was giving him a smug look, Matt could just tell. 

 

“So. Busy night, huh?” He asked and Matt sighed. “I knew you prefered moody bruinettes.” A fork came sailing by Foggy’s head and slammed into the wall separating Matt’s bedroom. A warning from the kitchen about his comments. Foggy held his hands up in surrender, laughing at the reaction. Jessica was dangerous when she wanted to be but Foggy knew just as well as the rest of the team that she wouldn’t actually hurt him. Probably.

 

“Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t help it. I distract myself from physical nausea with terrible jokes. I always assumed I’d be done seeing Matt’s junk after we finished school.” That earned him a laugh from the kitchen and Matt couldn’t help but join in. “I thought you could hear me coming from the next state over, anyways.”

 

He supposed this saved him from having to actually find a way to bring up his relationship with Jessica to Foggy. It was a weird thing to just discuss. And his friend would definitely knock before using his key next time.

 

“I was a bit...distracted, Foggy.” He reminded. 

 

Foggy snorted and shook his head. “Yeah. That’s what we’ll call it.” His friend leaned forward and gave him a friendly pat on the arm. “You seem happy, dude. Weird as this was, I’m happy for you. Seriously.” 

 

Matt ducked his head and scratched at the back of his neck, pleased that his friend liked what he and Jessica had become. Despite their rough bumps, Foggy genuinely wanted him to be happy.

 

“Thanks, man.” He pulled the work Foggy had brought him over to his side, a gesture of goodwill for his friend. He’d work on it, even with his distraction around.

 

Jessica returned from the kitchen with two plates, eggs on toast for the both of them. She handed one to Matt before taking one of the empty chairs.

 

“What, no eggs for me?” Foggy asked in a scandalized voice.

 

“You weren’t invited to this party.” Jessica shot back around a mouthful of eggs. The three of easily felt comfortable together, and spent a good portion of the morning joking around.

 

\--

 

The first snag between him and Jessica came at about three and a half weeks, and at first he hadn’t even known what he’d done wrong.

 

Things had been really, really good between them. She spent more nights in his bed than her own. When he pointed this out she had responded, “Because your bed is comfier. You’ve got like, thread count a million sheets. Don’t get a big head, thinking it’s because of you.” He had laughed, amused at her deflection. He really didn’t care what the reason was anyways just as long as he continued to wake up next to her.

 

They were on his sofa once again, kissing as if they didn’t ever have to breathe. He was on top of her, one hand gently pushing up the bottom of her shirt, the other just to the side of her head holding up all of his body weight.

 

He had pulled back for just one second before they both passed out from lack of oxygen. She was completely content again, and he had brought his fingers up to gently trace her lips. She kept a very neutral look most of the time and when she did show emotions on her face it was usually anger or irritation. He knew there were plenty of smirks and frowns, but it was only once in awhile she actually smiled. And he could feel the start of a small one pulling up both sides of her lips.

 

He returned the look and as he leaned back in to kiss her again said, “I bet you are so beautiful when you are smiling.” He’d never get to actually see it, and that hurt him just a little bit. She had to know that he thought it was amazing when she did though.

 

Her entire body froze beneath him and her mouth pulled down into a deep frown. Her pulse skyrocketed beneath his fingertips and her body temperature rose from more than her arousal. Matthew pulled back a bit, confused. “Wha…?”

 

Before he could actually ask anything she pushed hard against him, sending him back off her and into the arm of the sofa across from her. It didn’t really hurt, but it was enough to shock him. 

 

“Jessica? What’s wrong?” She was moving before he finished that question, ignoring him as she picked up her discarded jacket on the ground. “What’s wrong?” He pressed again. 

 

Her breathing was erratic to say the least and she was darting around like she couldn’t stay in one spot for too long. He could hear her muttering some names to herself, though he couldn’t say exactly what they were.

 

He stood up, hoping to calm her down but she was quicker than him. Before he could even reach for her she was out the door, the wood slamming behind her. He was sure there would be cracks in the frame, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now. 

 

He listened to her heavy steps as she practically ran further and further away from him. She wasn’t calming down any and over and over she said those names to herself. 

 

Matthew stood dumbfounded in his living room, completely unsure of what had just happened. He hadn’t done anything different than what they had done before and he wanted to know more than anything what mistake he had made to send her into a panic like that.

 

Four exceptionally long days followed with complete silence from her. He had called her a couple times, but didn’t want to make her feel like he was pushing too hard or invading the space she clearly needed. She had stepped away, and he had to accept that. 

 

He did watch her apartment as Daredevil for a little bit each night, just to make sure she was okay. 

 

And if that was a little bit creepy, well, it was just him who knew, right?

 

He genuinely didn’t know what to do with himself. He worked, and went out with Foggy, and did his night patrols, but none of it felt the same. She had become a constant in his life so quickly and having her gone and knowing she was upset was really throwing him off.

 

The way things had ended with Karen had hurt - he’d never forget that - but this was something different. Something much worse. And the emotions that were causing this level of pain were far too intimidating to examine in his current state. 

 

It was in the afternoon on the fourth day that he heard her coming down the street to his apartment. He was tempted to have the door open and to be standing there when she reached his floor, but figured that might be a bit much for her. So instead he forced himself to sit on the sofa and wait like a normal person. She didn’t pause or turn around - which was good - but it did seem to take her ages for her to get all the way up to his floor and then to his front door. She knocked, which was also weird. She generally just walked right in. Matt counted to ten before he got up and  _ very calmly _ walked over to the door.

 

The instant relief that flooded him when he opened it up and finally saw her was like a drug. She was in one piece, and looked mostly okay. A little haggard, but that was usually her natural state. The smell of alcohol mixed with her lovely scent, turning it a bit sour. She stood there with her hands in the pocket of her leather jacket, her chin buried just slightly in her grey scarf.

 

The scarf he had once borrowed - stole, as per her - and used as a mask. It had been a while since he last saw her wear it. 

 

“Hey.” He greeted, moving aside to let her in. She walked past without a word, but he took it as a positive that she came in at all. As soon as he shut the door, she turned around.

 

“Trish said I needed to come talk to you. About. You know.” She shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. “Apparently adults talk things through.” That was followed up with a scoff, as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. 

 

It was both a lie and the truth. She had probably talked with Trish about what had happened - at Trish’s instance - but was here to talk for herself and not because she was told to. He let her have that small bit of protection. If it made her feel better about what was about to happen, then he really didn’t care. 

 

“And I guess, I do owe you an explanation.” She turned around again, heading for one of his chairs. Her steps were hesitant, and he really didn’t like that sound from her. He went for the kitchen instead of following directly behind her, giving her a chance to settle.

 

“You want something to drink?” He called. 

 

She nodded and then gave an audible, “Yes.” He technically saw the nod in his own way, but the yes was appreciated nonetheless. He had seen it in the way her hair shifted around her head, and in the way her breathing hitched up and down with the movement. 

 

He made actual drinks instead of bringing out bottles, giving himself something to focus on for a few moments. He wanted to appear calm for her, but inside he was a storm of emotions. The strongest one currently being fear. He carried two glasses out to the living room and handed her one, careful not to touch her fingers as he passed it off. He wasn’t sure if that was okay right now. 

 

He settled himself down into the sofa. It was the same spot she had climbed on top of him for the first time, which he tried not to think about. 

 

She tapped her fingers against the glass, an echo of the night he had returned after the Midland Circle incident. It was a hollow reminder. Her emotions were different and he was tense for a completely new reason. They had come so far, and he couldn’t help but feel this reminder was setting him ten feet back again.

 

He wished she’d punch him like before.

After what felt like ages Jessica cleared her throat in preparation. “You saw my casefiles. You know about Kilgrave. About what he could do…” Matt nodded. He had read through it all the day he took her case for Hogarth. There had been a lot to digest. 

 

Jessica took a moment to finish half of her drink right there before continuing. “He could use it on me for a while. He made me do….awful things. He did awful things to me. And he always told me to smile.” Matt had started to take a sip of his own drink but paused with the glass halfway to his lips. “Smile Jessica. You’re pretty when you smile. How about a smile for me?” She mocked in an ugly tone. 

 

The weight of what he had done crashed down on Matt, freezing every nerve in his body. What a stupid comment to have made. He scolded himself as if he could have know this one very personal detail about her without her having told him. The urge to kneel at her feet and beg for forgiveness was overwhelming, and only the knowledge that she wouldn’t appreciate it stopped him. He had wronged her in an unimaginable way, and he wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself. 

 

“I can see you spiraling.” Jessica’s words pulled Matthew from what was indeed a downward spiral. She had finished up her glass and reached over to take his untouched drink. “I don’t blame you. You were just...being nice. I panicked. No one’s said that to me in a long time.”

 

Matthew nodded, but it was an empty movement and she knew it. With a sigh she finished off his drink as well and set the glass on the floor beside the first one. She stood from her chair and walked over to him, her stride purposeful instead of timid like earlier.

 

“Hey.” She called, drawing his eyes. She dropped herself down into his lap, sitting in the middle with her legs off to the side, resting on the sofa cushion. Her boots were still on, but he didn’t care. Automatically his arms wrapped as far around her waist as they could possibly get, holding her close. It was comforting to have her there again, and he could tell it was for her too. He dropped his head, letting it sit on her shoulder as the weight of what happened pulled him down.

 

“Leave that Catholic guilt of this, Saint Matthew.” She teased, sounding more like herself once again. “I want to move on.”

 

He nodded at that. He could do as she wished. Continuing to focus on this wouldn’t be good for her. It took him a moment, but he finally returned fully to the present. He pulled his head back up, looking her in the eyes. “I’m not a saint.” He retorted, frowning just slightly.

 

“Aren’t you, though?” She asked, leaning in to kiss him. 

 

\--

 

Daredevil had his own work to do, and Jessica Jones went out on her own cases, but more often than before, the pair worked together. 

 

She helped him track down some of his more slippery adversaries, and he joined her when she needed to rough up a group of people instead of just one. Or if they were just pissing her off more than usual.

 

Matthew was frightening just on his own - showing up in a red devil suit. But there was something about the added bonus of Jessica Jones, the woman who could literally send people flying through walls, who didn’t even wear any protection that added a whole new layer of fear. 

 

She kicked their asses in motorcycle boots and an infinity scarf, and there was something intimidating about that kind of confidence. 

 

Not that he hadn’t tried to convince her to get some sort of suit with protection. Several times. She had easily told him to, “Shove it.” whenever he had, ending those discussions. She had let it slip that Trish once made up a prototype for her once - though it had lacked in the actual protection department. He made a mental note that night to ask Tish if she still had it sometime. Just to see.

 

Jessica didn’t want armour and there was no way he could force her into it, so Matthew was determined to be her armour. He wouldn’t let himself get stabbed again - he knew it would probably be the end of him from either Jessica or Claire - but he did stop as much as he could from getting to her. If he took the guys out first they couldn’t throw a punch in her direction. He was flipping around more than usual, covering them both. 

 

It didn’t take long for Jessica to catch on. 

 

She had been looking for a way to release a little built up frustration - her latest client was really pissing her off - so she joined him out one night. They’d run into a decent sized group of people in the middle of a drug exchange, and perhaps it was quite suspicious that she had only ended up fighting one of them. Matthew had taken more than his usual amount of hits with all the extra work he was trying to do.

 

The gang was laying on the ground around them groaning. When the pair of them were sure they were all staying down, Jessica turned to look at him, a glint of something dangerous in her eyes. As she pushed him back against the wall and crowded him there, he honestly had assumed she was a little pent up after that fight and wanted a more...enjoyable way to exercise that. He was going to tell her that it was probably a bad idea for Daredevil to be seen with his tongue in Jessica Jones’ mouth when her hand came down and slammed into the wall right next to his face.

 

Oh. So not that then. It was just pure anger inside her and it was directed towards him, not their fallen targets. He was very glad they were in a dark alleyway. 

 

Their position reminded him a lot of their first time going out together, which now felt like a million years ago. He wondered if she saw all these parallels in their life too. She was observant enough that he was sure she had. 

 

“You got some sort of problem, Devil Boy?” She questioned. He had a feeling she didn’t really want an answer to that. “Or do you just like making sure you get as beat up as possible?” She raised one eyebrow at him, her lips pressing tight together. 

 

The alley they were standing in smelt awful - which was not uncommon - but he didn’t usually spend extra time hanging around once he was finished his fights. Jessica’s scent provided a bit of relief, but not nearly enough. He wanted out and the only way would be to settle things with Jessica as nicely, and as quickly as possible.

 

“No….” He responded carefully, hoping that was the right answer. He could hear her teeth grinding against each other in irritation, so maybe not.

 

“Then why the hell are you blocking everything coming my way? You know I’m stronger than you. I don’t need a babysitter.” She liked to remind him of that often. And while he was happy to admit that yes, that much was true, she wasn’t any less breakable than him. Or more skilled. She just had all the brute force in their pairing.

 

Deciding that the best way to deal with this was with the truth, straight and plain, Matthew took a deep breath to prepare himself. “You are. But you’re not unbreakable, Jessica. You don’t wear any sort of protection and I don’t want anyone coming near you with a weapon. Hell, I don’t want them coming near you with their fists.” It felt a little weird to be having a Matt Murdock conversation while in his Daredevil suit, but his life was filled with weird now that Jessica Jones was in it. 

 

Jessica stood there considering him for a few moments. She didn’t calm down any, so Matthew felt the need to press on.

 

“If you don’t want me to worry about you fighting in street clothes, at least let me teach you to fight properly. There’s more than just showing up and throwing punches.”

 

That earned him a smirk and the tiniest huff of laughter, which was a good sign. “You want to teach me to fight?” She repeated, sounding unconvinced.

 

He quickly nodded, incredibly pleased she hadn’t just turned him down right away. “Yeah. Of course. It could be like a fun….couple thing?” That sounded weird in his mouth and judging by the surprise in Jessica, she thought so too. They both laughed, keeping it down to avoid any attention. Gigging with Jessica wouldn’t exactly help his image. “No but seriously. It’ll be good. And you love a chance to throw a couple punches at me.”

 

Jessica stepped back, eyeing him up and down. “I do.” She finally said, the rest of the irritation leaking away. There was excitement in her now and he hoped it was more for the overall learning, and not just because she was going to try and hit him a few times. “Fine. You can teach me. Let’s go, Devil Boy. We got places to be.”

 

Matthew grinned as he pulled himself off the wall. 

 

“We start tonight!’ She called back, and he laughed to himself as he lept up, heading for the rooftops while she took her normal route back. He changed quickly once back in his apartment, excited to get her down to his gym.

 

As it turned out, she was an eager student. Or at least, she was eager to get as many chances as possible to try and throw him on his ass. He had suggested they start with a quick round between them with no instruction. It would be a chance to show off what she had now and Matt could identify on what she lacked most. She seemed to forget that Matthew had been trained for things like this since a very young age, and was so much faster than her. His extra senses also gave him another edge. She had all the physical power, it was true, but it didn’t matter much if she couldn’t actually hit him.

 

Swing after swing missed, and he could hear her laboured breaths as they circled each other. Her heaving chest was providing to be a bit of a distraction for him.

 

She lunged again and Matthew ducked down, her fist sailing over him. He lashed out with his leg, knocking her down with a swift kick to the back of her knees. She made a heavy sound as she hit the mat and Matthew bounced back up into a standing position.

 

“Concede?” He asked, sounding far more smug than he really should. He was always underestimated as the blind man - a fact that helped him hide his night time activities - but it felt good to be able to show off for just a little bit. Jessica was often busy with her own fights when he was attacking, so she’d never had a chance just watch him and experience how dangerous he could actually be.

 

She scoffed from below him before pushing herself back up on her feet. “Just getting started.” She taunted. He had expected as much. Jessica Jones did not go down easy.

 

The spared for a while, both of them working up quite a sweat. He spent most of his time dodging, though he did throw in a few punches here and there. She had decked him in the face seconds after his return after all. She owed him.

 

She managed to land a few punches and one kick too when she was really, really focusing. She had the drive and talent to be a fantastic fighter, Matthew just had to point her in the right direction. 

 

She finally gave in when he had her on the ground again, foot on her stomach as if he was holding her there, but he put no actual pressure into it. It didn’t matter anyways. If she wanted to be up, she’d be up.

 

“Alright, alright.” She said, remaining on the ground. Matthew figured it was a chance to let herself catch her breath. “You win. This isn’t teaching at all.”

 

Matthew offered his hand out and pulled her back up to her feet. “It is now. Make a fist.” She did as instructed, ready to hear his tips.

 

He started with a few form pointers, ensuring she held her fists, and her arms correctly. He improved her stance - though she told him several times it felt  _ weird _ to stand like that - which he then made her use for the rest of the night as she punched at one of the bags. Over and over he had her throw hits until she remembered each instruction he had given about how to hold herself without him having to repeat it. By the end of their session she had red knuckles and he had a broken bag, sand spilling out onto the floor.

 

“Whoops.” She said. She was radiating anything but actual remorse as she picked up the broken bag. Matthew laughed and shook his head. There were more.

 

They came back to the old boxing gym several times a week, each time starting with a sparring match between the two of them. They ended up the same for the first while - Matthew winning after both of them had exerted themselves far too much. Jessica always managed to get at least one hit in though, which pleased her.

 

After a while Matthew noticed that he had to work harder to get his own hits in and she was throwing herself around less and actually planning out attacks. It would take her a very, very long time to be exactly equal to him in this area, but he was more than happy to spend that time getting her there.

 

Her fights on the street improved and she returned home with less cuts and bruises on her face than she had before. Matthew felt less of a need to step in between their opponents and her now too.

 

Less being the key word. She still smacked him once in awhile when he took a blow that had been clearly meant for her. She never put any real force behind it though.

 

\--

 

It was only a week or so after that - a total of two months of officially ‘seeing each other’ that the realization that he, Matthew Murdock, was well and truly in love with Jessica Jones slammed into him like a ton of bricks. It seemed a bit early for that sort of emotion, but there was no way it was anything else. He’d given up his heart to her without even realizing he was doing it. 

 

It scared the hell out of him, but he wouldn’t do anything to take it back or change it.

 

Every moment with her was a blessing and when he thought about how close he had come to not coming back at all after Midland Circle, he wanted to beg for forgiveness from her all over again. This was where he was suppose to be. Taking care of his city with her at his side to join him.

 

Even if she wasn’t quite there yet herself, Matthew knew there was no way he couldn’t not tell her now that he knew. He’d wait forever if that’s what it took, and he’d stick with her if she couldn’t feel it in return at all. She wasn’t great with emotions - he knew that well - and things with Kilgrave had changed a lot about her. He could love her unconditionally and just have her with him. It was enough.

 

The perfect moment to say it came upon him one morning when they were both just laying around, avoiding the day. Foggy didn’t come in without knocking anymore, so there was never any worry about being walked in on. She was curled up against his side, head on his arm. His other arm was reached across his torso to play with the strands of her hair. He imagined she was breathtaking, laying there in stolen pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, the early morning sun streaming over her and warming her skin.

 

She was perfectly content, her heartbeat even and purposeful. She was like that a lot more than before, and it warmed his heart that she was that comfortable around him.

 

“I love you.” He had blurted out, fingers wrapped up in her hair. It hadn’t been the most tactful way of saying it, but it was finally out there. He felt lighter instantly.

 

He felt no panic or disgust from her, so he kept himself relaxed. She hummed happily, her pale fingers spreading out over his stomach. “I know.” Her tone was light, but she had still yet to look up at him. He prepared himself for her to say she couldn’t feel that way. “I probably love you too.”

 

It took him a moment to truly process what she had just said. She was finally looking up at him, a mixture of a smile and a smirk on her face. His own smile stretched across his face, the amount of happiness she had given him practically spilling out of him.

 

She dropped her head back down to his arm again, her eyes fluttering closed. “You’re my asshole.” 

 

Matthew laughed for a good few minutes before he collected himself enough to respond. “Yeah, I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat me up you can find me on Tumblr as QueenOfTheLostBoys


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